Dear Sheen,

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Expand view Topic review: Dear Sheen,

Re: Dear Sheen,

by wintehs » Sat Dec 08, 2012 1:23 pm

mogers wrote:I'm Dreaming Of A Lustful Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Alex Kirk sat playfully on a dick, sipping beautiful eggnog.

He looked at the gay-like dick base hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Ryan Seavert had hung it there, just before they looked at each other begrudgingly and then fell into each other's arms and fucked each other's butthole.

If only I hadn't been so gay-like, Alex Kirk thought, pouring a filthy amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Ryan Seavert might not have got so horny and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a rapey tear and held his man ass in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a cock filled voice lifted willingly up in song.


I'm dreaming of a lustful Christmas

Just like a Panda bear jizzing out bamboo rainbows on the faces of humanity


Alex Kirk ran to the door. It was Ryan Seavert, looking horny all over with snow.

"I missed you readily," Ryan Seavert said. "And I wanted to fuck your butthole again."

Alex Kirk hugged Ryan Seavert and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Ryan Seavert said.

"I think so too," Alex Kirk said and they fucked each other's butthole until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted dolphin taint and lived gently until Alex Kirk got drunk again.
Image

Re: Dear Sheen,

by mogers » Sat Dec 08, 2012 12:57 pm

I'm Dreaming Of A Lustful Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Alex Kirk sat playfully on a dick, sipping beautiful eggnog.

He looked at the gay-like dick base hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Ryan Seavert had hung it there, just before they looked at each other begrudgingly and then fell into each other's arms and fucked each other's butthole.

If only I hadn't been so gay-like, Alex Kirk thought, pouring a filthy amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Ryan Seavert might not have got so horny and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a rapey tear and held his man ass in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a cock filled voice lifted willingly up in song.


I'm dreaming of a lustful Christmas

Just like a Panda bear jizzing out bamboo rainbows on the faces of humanity


Alex Kirk ran to the door. It was Ryan Seavert, looking horny all over with snow.

"I missed you readily," Ryan Seavert said. "And I wanted to fuck your butthole again."

Alex Kirk hugged Ryan Seavert and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Ryan Seavert said.

"I think so too," Alex Kirk said and they fucked each other's butthole until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted dolphin taint and lived gently until Alex Kirk got drunk again.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by mogers » Sat Dec 08, 2012 12:29 pm

Oh my...

1000 Man Ass Crayfishs

Alex Kirk paced willingly back and forth. Beautiful dread filled his heart. Ryan Seavert should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my lustful love, Alex Kirk thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Ryan Seavert had been taken hostage by Rapey Man Ass, a supervillain who had the city in a state of horny terror. Alex Kirk fainted dead away, like a Voldemort casting his gay-like rays over all mankind..

When he came to, there was a bump on his knee pit and the beautiful dread had returned. "Ryan Seavert, my filthy honey bunny," he cried out begrudgingly. "What is Rapey Man Ass doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing playfully as he fucked him in the butthole.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Alex Kirk remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 man ass crayfishs, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Alex Kirk ordered in a supply of man ass and set to work, folding crayfishs until his knee pit was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last crayfish when Ryan Seavert walked in the front door.

"Ryan Seavert!" Alex Kirk screamed and threw himself into Ryan Seavert's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 man ass crayfishs and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on a boat. He kissed Ryan Seavert readily on the butthole.

"Actually," Ryan Seavert said, pulling away gently, "I was rescued by the Illuminating Football. He's a new superhero in town." Ryan Seavert sighed. "And he's really gay-like."

The beautiful dread came back. "But you're horny to be back here with me, right?"

Ryan Seavert checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Illuminating Football for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay gay-like, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Alex Kirk choked back a sob and started folding another crayfish. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by mogers » Sat Dec 08, 2012 12:18 pm

alex kirk wrote:
hatemakerr wrote:hey guys.
What took so long?
I miss you guise

Re: Dear Sheen,

by kirk » Sat Dec 08, 2012 5:39 am

hatemakerr wrote:hey guys.
What took so long?

Re: Dear Sheen,

by hatemakerr » Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:08 pm

hey guys.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by kirk » Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:22 pm

Polak wrote:Sigh

Can someone please explain this to me, I really don't get it.
They're words. You read them from left to right, top to bottom. You'll get it...just keep working at it.
Miller` wrote:Alex Kirk sipped behind at his drink and stood hungry behind an used condom. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel calculating and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how omnipotent his elbow got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Alex Kirk knew very well why he was at the party: to see Eric Sears.

Ah, Eric Sears. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his naive big toe made Alex Kirk's heart beat Let me count my loves of thee, my rose garden, my heart, my fixed mark, my beginning and my end..

But tonight everyone was masked. Alex Kirk peered over through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Eric Sears. There, he thought, the man over by the sand, the inquisitive one with the cow mask. It had to be Eric Sears. No one else could look so inflatable, even in a cow mask.

He began to walk Alex Kirk's way and Alex Kirk started to panic. What if he actually talked to Alex Kirk?

Eric Sears came right up to Alex Kirk and Alex Kirk thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Eric Sears said carefully. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the bed," Alex Kirk said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so lazy.

Just then, a thirsty voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Alex Kirk's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Eric Sears might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Eric Sears swept Alex Kirk into his arms, bent him on a boat, and kissed Alex Kirk under, slipping him the tongue and groping his vagina.

Alex Kirk could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out accidentally and pulled Eric Sears's mask off his face. It was Eric Sears! "I knew it was you," Alex Kirk said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Eric Sears said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Alex Kirk watched him go. He would be right back, Alex Kirk was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.
Image
scorch- wrote:50 shades of gay
Image

Re: Dear Sheen,

by scorch- » Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:19 am

50 shades of gay

Re: Dear Sheen,

by Miller` » Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:09 am

Alex Kirk sipped behind at his drink and stood hungry behind an used condom. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel calculating and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how omnipotent his elbow got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Alex Kirk knew very well why he was at the party: to see Eric Sears.

Ah, Eric Sears. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his naive big toe made Alex Kirk's heart beat Let me count my loves of thee, my rose garden, my heart, my fixed mark, my beginning and my end..

But tonight everyone was masked. Alex Kirk peered over through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Eric Sears. There, he thought, the man over by the sand, the inquisitive one with the cow mask. It had to be Eric Sears. No one else could look so inflatable, even in a cow mask.

He began to walk Alex Kirk's way and Alex Kirk started to panic. What if he actually talked to Alex Kirk?

Eric Sears came right up to Alex Kirk and Alex Kirk thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Eric Sears said carefully. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the bed," Alex Kirk said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so lazy.

Just then, a thirsty voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Alex Kirk's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Eric Sears might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Eric Sears swept Alex Kirk into his arms, bent him on a boat, and kissed Alex Kirk under, slipping him the tongue and groping his vagina.

Alex Kirk could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out accidentally and pulled Eric Sears's mask off his face. It was Eric Sears! "I knew it was you," Alex Kirk said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Eric Sears said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Alex Kirk watched him go. He would be right back, Alex Kirk was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by Polak » Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:13 pm

Sigh

Can someone please explain this to me, I really don't get it.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by hildebrand » Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:55 pm

loved it. will be doing one soon.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by wintehs » Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:12 am

This has made my Monday 100x better... currently sitting at my desk crying and my officemate has no idea why

Re: Dear Sheen,

by aLpha.cn-[tang] » Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:01 pm

I'm beginning to think that you just wrote these yourself, Alex. You put in words and people's names and it generates a fucking masterpiece and when I throw words into it, I get a fucking sonnet that makes absolutely no sense. I see right through you.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by stealthlol » Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:36 pm

I'll string together 50 of them and it will be a masterpiece.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by aLpha.cn-[tang] » Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:32 pm

alex kirk wrote:
aLpha.cn-[tang] wrote:Fuck you, Alex. You're bumping my more important thread off the main page.

... I'm actually really curious what words you put in all those fields...
Don't overthink it, bro. Get in touch with your 9 year-old self.

Kevin Gardner hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a sack of testicles in the face. He loathed it.

Every December, Kevin Gardner would feel himself getting all homosexual inside. He refused to put up a Christmas dildo, he snapped at anyone horny enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Kevin Gardner had to go to the mall to buy a horny lubrication. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing all gay-like around and so much Christmas music blaring in a homosexual manner, he thought his butthole would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a horny man collecting for charity. Kevin Gardner never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the horny man dropped his bells and ran in Matt Rogers' butthole. There was a homosexual William Ward right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the horny man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Kevin Gardner rushed out and all gay-like pushed them both out of the way. There was a horny bang and then everything went dark.

When Kevin Gardner woke up, he was in a sexual room. There was a Christmas dildo in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Kevin Gardner's urethra hurt. A lot.

The horny man came into the room. "I'm so horny!" he said. "You're awake. My name is JoeLedmunds. You saved me from the truck. But your urethra is broken."

Kevin Gardner hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas dildo up and his urethra was broken, he felt quite gay-like, especially when he looked at JoeLedmunds.

"Your urethra must hurt homosexually," JoeLedmunds said. "I think this will help." And he jacked Kevin Gardner several times.

Now Kevin Gardner felt very gay-like indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved JoeLedmunds. "I love you," he said, and kissed JoeLedmunds homosexually.

"I love you too," said JoeLedmunds. Just then, William Ward ran into the room and nuzzled Kevin Gardner's penis. "I brought him home with us," JoeLedmunds said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Kevin Gardner said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA Kevin, you should just dump your books and use this repeatedly.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by stealthlol » Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:09 pm

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by kirk » Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:31 am

aLpha.cn-[tang] wrote:Fuck you, Alex. You're bumping my more important thread off the main page.

... I'm actually really curious what words you put in all those fields...
Don't overthink it, bro. Get in touch with your 9 year-old self.

Kevin Gardner hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a sack of testicles in the face. He loathed it.

Every December, Kevin Gardner would feel himself getting all homosexual inside. He refused to put up a Christmas dildo, he snapped at anyone horny enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Kevin Gardner had to go to the mall to buy a horny lubrication. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing all gay-like around and so much Christmas music blaring in a homosexual manner, he thought his butthole would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a horny man collecting for charity. Kevin Gardner never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the horny man dropped his bells and ran in Matt Rogers' butthole. There was a homosexual William Ward right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the horny man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Kevin Gardner rushed out and all gay-like pushed them both out of the way. There was a horny bang and then everything went dark.

When Kevin Gardner woke up, he was in a sexual room. There was a Christmas dildo in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Kevin Gardner's urethra hurt. A lot.

The horny man came into the room. "I'm so horny!" he said. "You're awake. My name is JoeLedmunds. You saved me from the truck. But your urethra is broken."

Kevin Gardner hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas dildo up and his urethra was broken, he felt quite gay-like, especially when he looked at JoeLedmunds.

"Your urethra must hurt homosexually," JoeLedmunds said. "I think this will help." And he jacked Kevin Gardner several times.

Now Kevin Gardner felt very gay-like indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved JoeLedmunds. "I love you," he said, and kissed JoeLedmunds homosexually.

"I love you too," said JoeLedmunds. Just then, William Ward ran into the room and nuzzled Kevin Gardner's penis. "I brought him home with us," JoeLedmunds said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Kevin Gardner said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by aLpha.cn-[tang] » Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:57 am

Alexander Kirkland and his mother
by William Shakespeare

Enter Alexander Kirkland

his mother appears above at a window

Alexander Kirkland:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the fart, and his mother is the macaque.
Arise, santorum-like macaque, and dump the dumpy sphincter.
See, how she leans her poop chute upon her duadenum!
O, that I were a glove upon that duadenum,
That I might touch that poop chute!

his mother:
O Alexander Kirkland, Alexander Kirkland! wherefore art thou Alexander Kirkland?
What's in a name? That which we call a collarbone
By any other name would smell as random
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like running your dick through a cheese grater"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove bonerrific.

Alexander Kirkland:
Lady, by yonder dumpy sphincter I swear
That tips off the boat the plump bottle--

his mother:
O, swear not by the sphincter, the scrumptious sphincter,
That kevingardneringly changes in its resodomized orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise resodomized.
Sweet, lumpy night! A thousand times lumpy night!
Parting is such panicked sorrow,
That I shall say lumpy night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Alexander Kirkland:
Sleep dwell upon thy poop chute, peace in thy duadenum!
Would I were sleep and peace, so unwittingly to rest!
hardly will I to my santorum-like collarbone's cell,
Its help to dump, and my random collarbone to tell.


... what the fuck did this thing create? ... and that was actually a chore coming up with words.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by aLpha.cn-[tang] » Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:23 pm

Fuck you, Alex. You're bumping my more important thread off the main page.

... I'm actually really curious what words you put in all those fields...

Re: Dear Sheen,

by stealthlol » Sat Dec 01, 2012 2:52 pm

joeledmunds wrote:xhNneU5shTs
There you go.

Re: Dear Sheen,

by joeledmunds » Sat Dec 01, 2012 2:49 pm

xhNneU5shTs

Re: Dear Sheen,

by stealthlol » Sat Dec 01, 2012 2:47 pm

Someone give this man a Pulitzer.

Dear Sheen,

by kirk » Sat Dec 01, 2012 2:36 pm

Andy Sheen stepped all gay-like out into the sunshine, and admired Andy Sheen's right hand's butthole. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a horny sight."

Andy Sheen's right hand walked all gay-like across the grass to greet his lover. Andy Sheen patted Andy Sheen's right hand on the butthole and then tried to jack him all gay-like, but without success.

"That's all right," Andy Sheen's right hand said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not horny," Andy Sheen. "Not as horny as the time we jacked in the butthole."

Andy Sheen's right hand nodded all gay-like. "We were horny back in those days."

"Our buttholes were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Andy Sheen said. "Everything seems horny and gay when you're young."

"Of course," Andy Sheen's right hand said. "But now we're horny, we can still have fun. If we go about it all gay-like."

"All gay-like?" Andy Sheen said . "But how?"

"With this," Andy Sheen's right hand said and held out a horny penis. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to jack it."

Andy Sheen swallowed the penis at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to jack all gay-like. They jacked like a face who faces a face and faced. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

http://prillalar.com/drabbles/

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