by kirk » Sun Apr 07, 2013 11:22 am
Would write a letter of recommendation for. I imagine it might look like this:
Dear luckiest person ever,
Why are you the luckiest person ever? Probably because Will Ward is looking to join your organization. I don't really care what that organization is, you WILL benefit from William Ward ("Will," to his pals). Why Will Ward? Good question, because on the surface there's no doubt that he leaves much to be desired. Sure he's slightly overweight, is out of breath by the second story of a staircase, probably has never felt the warmth of a woman (or in his case, a sexually confused man), and is high on whippits 70% of the time. But luckily you don't believe in judging a book by its cover. You know who came up with that phrase? Will Ward. Right after he shook Obama's hand for killing Osama bin Laden, that is.
Let's look at more facts: Will Ward has beaten Helm's Deep on L4D2. Could he have given up the first 250 attempts? Sure. Did he? Hell no. And that was WITH k4b00m playing, too. Will Ward expresses utmost confusion and offense at the Western concept of "failure." And so he persevered, despite k4b00m not knowing how to throw gas tanks on the bridge, and that shows courage. He has more courage in his undersized gamer hands than you do in your entire body.
There is nothing left to be said about his accomplishments. He beat Helm's Deep. Did you? No, because you're a vagina. Has anyone in your organization beaten Helm's Deep? No, because they're also vaginas. Will Ward, on the other hand, HATES vaginas.
Does he have weaknesses? Of course. After all, he's only 50% perfect (the perfect genes coming from his father, Oliver Ward, who never hesitated to show "physical disappointment" in Will for having the audacity to carry subpar genes, aka those which came from his mother, who is a lovely lady mind you). For starters, he never really played TF2 with me, ever. Also, whenever we played campaigns on L4D2 he would NEVER stick with the team which means he was long dead by the time the tank arrived. BIG HELP, WILL. And he never, not once, contributed to the xmvc ventrilo server. But none of that compares to his Helm's Deep accomplishment. Except for him being a shitty L4D2 teammate in general. That is bad.
So, let me be the first to congratulate you for having Will Ward as a part of your team, while simultaneously offering my condolences for your reassignment to a lower position as Will Ward will surely have your job by the time you are done reading this. Why? Because you're a vagina, and Will Ward detests vaginas.
Sincerely,
Alejandro "[xmvc] Dictator" Kirkland
Would write a letter of recommendation for. I imagine it might look like this:
Dear luckiest person ever,
Why are you the luckiest person ever? Probably because Will Ward is looking to join your organization. I don't really care what that organization is, you WILL benefit from William Ward ("Will," to his pals). Why Will Ward? Good question, because on the surface there's no doubt that he leaves much to be desired. Sure he's slightly overweight, is out of breath by the second story of a staircase, probably has never felt the warmth of a woman (or in his case, a sexually confused man), and is high on whippits 70% of the time. But luckily you don't believe in judging a book by its cover. You know who came up with that phrase? Will Ward. Right after he shook Obama's hand for killing Osama bin Laden, that is.
Let's look at more facts: Will Ward has beaten Helm's Deep on L4D2. Could he have given up the first 250 attempts? Sure. Did he? Hell no. And that was WITH k4b00m playing, too. Will Ward expresses utmost confusion and offense at the Western concept of "failure." And so he persevered, despite k4b00m not knowing how to throw gas tanks on the bridge, and that shows courage. He has more courage in his undersized gamer hands than you do in your entire body.
There is nothing left to be said about his accomplishments. He beat Helm's Deep. Did you? No, because you're a vagina. Has anyone in your organization beaten Helm's Deep? No, because they're also vaginas. Will Ward, on the other hand, HATES vaginas.
Does he have weaknesses? Of course. After all, he's only 50% perfect (the perfect genes coming from his father, Oliver Ward, who never hesitated to show "physical disappointment" in Will for having the audacity to carry subpar genes, aka those which came from his mother, who is a lovely lady mind you). For starters, he never really played TF2 with me, ever. Also, whenever we played campaigns on L4D2 he would NEVER stick with the team which means he was long dead by the time the tank arrived. BIG HELP, WILL. And he never, not once, contributed to the xmvc ventrilo server. But none of that compares to his Helm's Deep accomplishment. Except for him being a shitty L4D2 teammate in general. That is bad.
So, let me be the first to congratulate you for having Will Ward as a part of your team, while simultaneously offering my condolences for your reassignment to a lower position as Will Ward will surely have your job by the time you are done reading this. Why? Because you're a vagina, and Will Ward detests vaginas.
Sincerely,
Alejandro "[xmvc] Dictator" Kirkland