Funny jokes, phrases, or sayings.

[subjecT]

Well thought i'd make a thread for any funny joke or saying or anything of the sort. I always get a good laugh hearing little sayings and whatnot i haven't heard before. Guess ill start with a few.

"I'm not slurring my words, I'm speaking in cursive."

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

Long not so funny personal story

Spoiler: show

First off, happened last night while in bed with my girl. I was wanting a back rub, so i thought id try asking a different way then usual. We had just got done watching one of the batman movies on tv so i asked her "Would you like to roll play tonight?" She responded "As what?" I said "Ill be Backman and you can be Rubbin." We had a good chuckle about it.

[stealthlol]

[sloth]

Watch your language.

[Sears]

[taylor]

[subjecT]

Is asking for people to type on this forum considered odd? Or are gifs the only acceptable form of communication on here.

[Sears]

Guess asking for people to type on this forum is considered odd? Apparently gifs are only acceptable form of communication on here.

[k4b00m]

[stile]

I'll contribute.

I have a friend who is kind of metro and always has some crazy clothes. He used to wear baggy stuff and now he has this whole James Dean look. Either way I see him one day wearing this tight jacket with really tight jeans and I can't help but notice that the top of his jacket only reached the top of his pants. I thought it was hilarious that if he raised his arms at all, his whole outfit would be fucked. In retrospect it was one of those moments you had to be there.

Instead I'll link you to a troll thread.

http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f7/sharp- ... r-1345483/

Im just worried that with all this solar panel shit we might be shortening the lifespan of the sun...in wich case we're all fucked

[stealthlol]

Is asking for people to type on this forum considered odd? Or are gifs the only acceptable form of communication on here.

[Polak]

I need to stop watching porn and going straight to 1911 afterwords

[joeledmunds]

I need to stop watching porn and going straight to 1911 afterwords

Simultaneous browsing is where it's at.

[Mino]

- I'm a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.

- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

- Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

- Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.

- We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

[Sears]

I need to stop watching porn and going straight to 1911 afterwords

Simultaneous browsing is where it's at.

If we could get e`man on here posting shirtless pics of himself, you guys could kill two birds with one stone...

[t`RavE]

I need to stop watching porn and going straight to 1911 afterwords

Simultaneous browsing is where it's at.

If we could get e`man on here posting shirtless pics of himself, you guys could kill two birds with one stone...

[mexicant]

Is asking for people to type on this forum considered odd? Or are gifs the only acceptable form of communication on here.

[meekrab]

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

[Mitz]

Old school trolls.
[youtube]PGfx3QAV64M[/youtube]

Came up with more of this crap than anyone.
[youtube]F5ErMolRE8M[/youtube]

[scorch-]

[youtube]1uQlB99WCuk[/youtube]

[joeledmunds]

[youtube]1uQlB99WCuk[/youtube]

hahaha first time I've ever seen this. That scene from Man on the Moon just got a lot more awesome.

[nunz]

Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?