TPG Season 31 - Finals (Invite/Main)

[cassinoroyale]

So yeah, I've got some PM's from people missing my broken english previews. This season was helluva long with a shit load of interruptions due to holidays and at least for me it felt like we were playing it for roughly a year. Glad this nasty thing is near to it's completion. The good thing is that these aforementioned finals are going to be played in a bo3 format so, considering the amount of [dd]1g#YOLO of the players involved, prepare your popcorn.gif, load your best SSW and hop in the nearest HLTV just to see watch toxinatoR cheat omnisciently blatantly. I'm also doing an in-depth analysis of all Mainvite starters (pay attention the ones in bold, they're my likely bets for possible match MVPs aka gamechangers).

Let's get it started:

[ I n v i t e ]

g.skiLL

- JaGGoN (is supposed to deliver my movies at some point. can be potentially a game changer if dont go emo)
- motiv_ (his talent is overflowing the entire 1911)
- ko (poops and (can) frag hard. enough said)
- greetz (deadliest rifle over this and past seasons of invite)
- taylor (new toxinator/doesn't have a cone of fire/one-man-army)
- cableguy (is allegedly fat and can drop big numbers with his aggressive playstyle)

THUNDER

- toxinatoR (cheats blatantly. or else he is just a product of people who really care/practice)
- dorito (the type of guy we usually hate, makes DoD seems easy. but has the cone of fire)
- Pat (patrick is random, he can be either god or black hawk in some maps/situations... let's see <3)
- Hudson (can frag, can call, can cap and is jared's bff. hence he is a thunder starter. LoLuMaDjkbrah)
- Jules (cheats. blatantly. actually, no. not blatantly. best player of this season)
- sevEN (frags. usually when he is not busy choking to death with the cocks in his throat)

Expected outcome:

All jokes aside, it's goddamn hard to predict two good teams winning two maps in a row. My best best would be either THUNDER winning this season a 2-0 score winning the first map, making Corey go emo and make gskiLL lose OR gskiLL winning the first map lose the second only to get their momentum back an win the third map within a shit load of movie clips and flicks. I expect Tox being Jesus in every half with Jules dropping tons of 3 and 4 kills all over. Dorito will be dorito. Pat and Hudson will support them kindly and Joey Harter will be busy sucking his gun barrel instead of shooting. On gskiLL side, Chuck will (likely) "easily" outsnipe Pat since his talent[dd] is reaching dangerous levels. Or not. LoL. Taylor, Frankie and Cableguy will pretty much drop bombs both halves. If KO don't start complaining (and therefore start playing poorly) and JaGGoN gets focused on winning, hmmm, I don't really know mang. This match is the recent era clash of titans (minus sevEN, who always manages to sneak in rosters somehow).

cAss' bets:

THUNDER winning the season with a 2-0 score(50% chance - maps combination+ko/jaggon possible rage)
gskILL being crowned champions with a 2-1 score (45% chance - maps combination+ko/jaggon not raging)
THUNDER winning the season with a 2-1 score (5% chance - maps combination+ko/jaggon raging on their last map)


[ M a i n ]

illuminati

- Milo (THE_GAMECHANGERdd. he invented this acronym. nigga is some serious shit if he is really into fraggin')
- Stile (does his role with passion. tries his best to be sawn a pain in the ass over 1911 (but knows portuguese))
- Poizoned (got outplayed badly by me on our last match. LoLoL. when he is not playing against me, you can call him kellen)
- Paintball (must cheat. there is no other explanation since this motherfucker is as bad as tin bad. jkbrah <3)
- Bour (never heard about him before but he handled Kevin Gardner pretty effieciently. got points with me)
- Statik/Nhoj' (statik is the starter while john is the backup/7th man. both can do their roles decently. nuff said)

92 Dream Team

- MAJL (played for sG/GSR over the last many many seasons and somehow drops bombs. god acts in misterious ways, eh?!)
- poo56 (the above fits perfectly. seems to be chill and can frag)
- AzNhUnTeR (never played against/never saw him play, can't say much outside of seeing him defending Main title twice in a row)
- Muresan (has a funny alias - it somehow reminds me of WC3 Dwarvish names. Muresan IronKar LoLoLoL)
- cK- (the dumbest mother fucker who ever lived. yet, when it comes to matches, usually drops a lot of bombs)
- vertex (cheats at every game he plays but DoD. at least it's what he tell us. this dude have skilllZzzZz)

Expected outcome:

It's a real tough call here too. I've played against Illuminati and despite my better judgement of what the map would be like, we (3h) outfragged pretty easily during 1st half but we couldn't cap out somehow whereas they did. Milo's squad have both the necessary skill and chemistry to have this final in the bag and they only concern would be pretty much stop the Pinto Brothers from their ability to get crucial frags/streaks when their teams needs them most. Sandro will be busy YOLO'ing all over everyone, in all routes possible while poizoned will be seen dropping bombs too. Even if nhoj plays (he is in theory the least experienced player of Illuminati) I don't see them behind 92DT in any map or circunstance. 92DT only chance is to rely on vertex and cK- to play their best matches in their e-gaming career because frankly the tough call I've mentioned before (and not taking away any merit from 92DT) is predict 92DT pulling the underdogs maneuver and make Milo rage quit for the 13th time. That will be a serious challenge, really! At least, if he loses, it'll match his age. LoLoLoLoLuMaDbRaH?! <3

cAss' bets:

Illuminati winning the season with a 2-0 score (80% chance - too stronk i'd say)
Illuminati winning the season with a 2-1 score (15% chance - cK/vertex having a good run in the first map)
92DT winning the season with a 2-1 score (5% chance - cK having a 6 kill nade in every map with vertex ace'ing everyone)

GLHF!

inb4tl;dr



Edit: I wrote this shit yesterday being awake for 32 hours straight. Fixed some little grammar shit and made clear enough some of my personal opinions of the upcoming matches. PzL8

[crawtona]

I demand drunken, South American shoutcasts for these matches.

[Joshinator]

tl;dr

Thunder winning 2-0, or 2-1. gskiLL winning 2-1 if at all.

Illuminati winning 2-0 or 2-1. If 92DT does win, it'll be 2-1.

[Hudson`]

I demand drunken, South American shoutcasts for these matches.

[milo]

That's what you call some muthafuckin' in-depth analysis. Good read, brah.

[SKiNnTo]

Good analysis Cass! Is it a must to try cheating to play at the invite level?

[knockout]

lol, this is hilarious. joey, what did you do to cass to make him have such a(n oral) fixation on you?!

If KO don't start complaining (and therefore start playing poorly) and JaGGoN gets focused on winning, hmmm, I don't really know mang.

I _WILL_ be complaining every time my shots don't register. I just hope it doesn't make me play poorly.

[k4b00m]

A lot of wiener touching in this thread.

[ward]

A lot of wiener touching in this thread.

[cassinoroyale]

Good analysis Cass! Is it a must to try cheating to play at the invite level?

Apparently, it is! Even modest Austin couldn't handle the cheaters this season. Invite shit cray!

KO/Hudson,

For you delight and pleasure, me Alex_Kirk and M0wJ3rZ are going to make a triple shoutcast feature and make these finals worthwhile to watch. Watch me out brosefs!

[D-bo]

- JaGGoN (is supposed to deliver my movies at some point)

[Miller`]

lol, this is hilarious. joey, what did you do to cass to make him have such a(n oral) fixation on you?!

If KO don't start complaining (and therefore start playing poorly) and JaGGoN gets focused on winning, hmmm, I don't really know mang.

I _WILL_ be complaining every time my shots don't register. I just hope it doesn't make me play poorly.

Registration will not be the reason you play poorly.

[rolyat]

- Jules (cheats. blatantly. actually, no. not blatantly. best player of this season)

Ryanemo was the best player in a lot of TPG seasons. Hey jules.

[crawtona]

For you delight and pleasure, me Alex_Kirk and M0wJ3rZ are going to make a triple shoutcast feature and make these finals worthwhile to watch. Watch me out brosefs!

[paintball_]

- JaGGoN (is supposed to deliver my movies at some point)

[toxinatoR]

So yeah, I've got some PM's from people missing my broken english previews. This season was helluva long with a shit load of interruptions due to holidays and at least for me it felt like we were playing it for roughly a year. Glad this nasty thing is near to it's completion. The good thing is that these aforementioned finals are going to be played in a bo3 format so, considering the amount of [dd]1g#YOLO of the players involved, prepare your popcorn.gif, load your best SSW and hop in the nearest HLTV just to see watch toxinatoR cheat omnisciently blatantly. I'm also doing an in-depth analysis of all Mainvite starters (pay attention the ones in bold, they're my likely bets for possible match MVPs aka gamechangers).

Let's get it started:

[ I n v i t e ]

g.skiLL

- JaGGoN (is supposed to deliver my movies at some point. can be potentially a game changer if dont go emo)
- motiv_ (his talent is overflowing the entire 1911)
- ko (poops and (can) frag hard. enough said)
- greetz (deadliest rifle over this and past seasons of invite)
- taylor (new toxinator/doesn't have a cone of fire/one-man-army)
- cableguy (is allegedly fat and can drop big numbers with his aggressive playstyle)

THUNDER

- toxinatoR (cheats blatantly. or else he is just a product of people who really care/practice)
- dorito (the type of guy we usually hate, makes DoD seems easy. but has the cone of fire)
- Pat (patrick is random, he can be either god or black hawk in some maps/situations... let's see <3)
- Hudson (can frag, can call, can cap and is jared's bff. hence he is a thunder starter. LoLuMaDjkbrah)
- Jules (cheats. blatantly. actually, no. not blatantly. best player of this season)
- sevEN (frags. usually when he is not busy choking to death with the cocks in his throat)

Expected outcome:

All jokes aside, it's goddamn hard to predict two good teams winning two maps in a row. My best best would be either THUNDER winning this season a 2-0 score winning the first map, making Corey go emo and make gskiLL lose OR gskiLL winning the first map lose the second only to get their momentum back an win the third map within a shit load of movie clips and flicks. I expect Tox being Jesus in every half with Jules dropping tons of 3 and 4 kills all over. Dorito will be dorito. Pat and Hudson will support them kindly and Joey Harter will be busy sucking his gun barrel instead of shooting. On gskiLL side, Chuck will (likely) "easily" outsnipe Pat since his talent[dd] is reaching dangerous levels. Or not. LoL. Taylor, Frankie and Cableguy will pretty much drop bombs both halves. If KO don't start complaining (and therefore start playing poorly) and JaGGoN gets focused on winning, hmmm, I don't really know mang. This match is the recent era clash of titans (minus sevEN, who always manages to sneak in rosters somehow).

cAss' bets:

THUNDER winning the season with a 2-0 score(50% chance - maps combination+ko/jaggon possible rage)
gskILL being crowned champions with a 2-1 score (45% chance - maps combination+ko/jaggon not raging)
THUNDER winning the season with a 2-1 score (5% chance - maps combination+ko/jaggon raging on their last map)


[ M a i n ]

illuminati

- Milo (THE_GAMECHANGERdd. he invented this acronym. nigga is some serious shit if he is really into fraggin')
- Stile (does his role with passion. tries his best to be sawn a pain in the ass over 1911 (but knows portuguese))
- Poizoned (got outplayed badly by me on our last match. LoLoL. when he is not playing against me, you can call him kellen)
- Paintball (must cheat. there is no other explanation since this motherfucker is as bad as tin bad. jkbrah <3)
- Bour (never heard about him before but he handled Kevin Gardner pretty effieciently. got points with me)
- Statik/Nhoj' (statik is the starter while john is the backup/7th man. both can do their roles decently. nuff said)

92 Dream Team

- MAJL (played for sG/GSR over the last many many seasons and somehow drops bombs. god acts in misterious ways, eh?!)
- poo56 (the above fits perfectly. seems to be chill and can frag)
- AzNhUnTeR (never played against/never saw him play, can't say much outside of seeing him defending Main title twice in a row)
- Muresan (has a funny alias - it somehow reminds me of WC3 Dwarvish names. Muresan IronKar LoLoLoL)
- cK- (the dumbest mother fucker who ever lived. yet, when it comes to matches, usually drops a lot of bombs)
- vertex (cheats at every game he plays but DoD. at least it's what he tell us. this dude have skilllZzzZz)

Expected outcome:

It's a real tough call here too. I've played against Illuminati and despite my better judgement of what the map would be like, we (3h) outfragged pretty easily during 1st half but we couldn't cap out somehow whereas they did. Milo's squad have both the necessary skill and chemistry to have this final in the bag and they only concern would be pretty much stop the Pinto Brothers from their ability to get crucial frags/streaks when their teams needs them most. Sandro will be busy YOLO'ing all over everyone, in all routes possible while poizoned will be seen dropping bombs too. Even if nhoj plays (he is in theory the least experienced player of Illuminati) I don't see them behind 92DT in any map or circunstance. 92DT only chance is to rely on vertex and cK- to play their best matches in their e-gaming career because frankly the tough call I've mentioned before (and not taking away any merit from 92DT) is predict 92DT pulling the underdogs maneuver and make Milo rage quit for the 13th time. That will be a serious challenge, really! At least, if he loses, it'll match his age. LoLoLoLoLuMaDbRaH?! <3

cAss' bets:

Illuminati winning the season with a 2-0 score (80% chance - too stronk i'd say)
Illuminati winning the season with a 2-1 score (15% chance - cK/vertex having a good run in the first map)
92DT winning the season with a 2-1 score (5% chance - cK having a 6 kill nade in every map with vertex ace'ing everyone)

GLHF!

inb4tl;dr



Edit: I wrote this shit yesterday being awake for 32 hours straight. Fixed some little grammar shit and made clear enough some of my personal opinions of the upcoming matches. PzL8

Swing and a miss?

[Jakimo]

[Tin Bad]

I'm not bad.....................I lose on purpose!

[Polak]

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG



































AMAZING

[Jakimo]

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG



































AMAZING

this is what us canadians think happened

[Polak]

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG



































AMAZING

this is what us canadians think happened

So did the Jury

[sevEN]

thanks for clearly showing everyone the magnitude to which i have rustled your jimmies, cass. if i tried to tell them myself w/o the proof in dis here thread, nobody would believe to what extent they have been rustled.

[cassinoroyale]

thanks for clearly showing everyone the magnitude to which i have rustled your jimmies, cass. if i tried to tell them myself w/o the proof in dis here thread, nobody would believe to what extent they have been rustled.

nah brah, i'm fine with you, always were. but you can't prevent me to point out the fact that you are the most proven double-faced cock sucker that ever played Day of Defeat in the retail era, confirmed by pretty much 20+ players across the years.

[tenks]

nah brah, i'm fine with you, always were. but you can't prevent me to point out the fact that you are the most proven double-faced cock sucker that ever played Day of Defeat in the retail era, confirmed by pretty much 20+ players across the years. GO OAKLAND!!!

[sevEN]

thanks for clearly showing everyone the magnitude to which i have rustled your jimmies, cass. if i tried to tell them myself w/o the proof in dis here thread, nobody would believe to what extent they have been rustled.

nah brah, i'm fine with you, always were. but you can't prevent me to point out the fact that you are the most proven double-faced cock sucker that ever played Day of Defeat in the retail era, confirmed by pretty much 20+ players across the years.

Bro, ive played online games for a lot of years and i've rustled a lot of jimmies. that list of 20+ ppl is definitely a lot bigger than that. and guess what?

[crawtona]

thanks for clearly showing everyone the magnitude to which i have rustled your jimmies, cass. if i tried to tell them myself w/o the proof in dis here thread, nobody would believe to what extent they have been rustled.

nah brah, i'm fine with you, always were. but you can't prevent me to point out the fact that you are the most proven double-faced cock sucker that ever played Day of Defeat in the retail era, confirmed by pretty much 20+ players across the years.

I don't know where this here Joey Harter is from, but I do know he's a Vikings fan. Which means that we have adopted him as an honorary Minnesotan. What that means, is that he is not a "double-faced cock sucker," but a, "passive aggressive cock sucker." Which is really just another way of saying, "Minnesotan." Do your research, Cass; that's just bush league.

[sevEN]

thanks for clearly showing everyone the magnitude to which i have rustled your jimmies, cass. if i tried to tell them myself w/o the proof in dis here thread, nobody would believe to what extent they have been rustled.

nah brah, i'm fine with you, always were. but you can't prevent me to point out the fact that you are the most proven double-faced cock sucker that ever played Day of Defeat in the retail era, confirmed by pretty much 20+ players across the years.

I don't know where this here Joey Harter is from, but I do know he's a Vikings fan. Which means that we have adopted him as an honorary Minnesotan. What that means, is that he is not a "double-faced cock sucker," but a, "passive aggressive cock sucker." Which is really just another way of saying, "Minnesotan." Do your research, Cass; that's just bush league.

rofl, you a vike fan brah???

why did you not present yourself sooner???

bluerevolver, arn, mistadobalina, Nayr are vikings fans too

my family on my dads side is all from minnesota, but i've never been

[crawtona]

nah brah, i'm fine with you, always were. but you can't prevent me to point out the fact that you are the most proven double-faced cock sucker that ever played Day of Defeat in the retail era, confirmed by pretty much 20+ players across the years.

I don't know where this here Joey Harter is from, but I do know he's a Vikings fan. Which means that we have adopted him as an honorary Minnesotan. What that means, is that he is not a "double-faced cock sucker," but a, "passive aggressive cock sucker." Which is really just another way of saying, "Minnesotan." Do your research, Cass; that's just bush league.

rofl, you a vike fan brah???

why did you not present yourself sooner???

bluerevolver, arn, mistadobalina, Nayr are vikings fans too

my family on my dads side is all from minnesota, but i've never been

I've known mista ever since he was a wee lad. Him, me, and Proto Vivanta (started the original careface team) all started in the same pub clan (PDM) with a bunch of other guys from the area. Mista's brother actually brought him over to my and my roommates apartment after highschool and he got completely trashed. We're all getting a kick out of the kid passed out and in the fetal position in the middle of our kitchen, when his brother says, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me. He's only 14..." Still go disc golfing together here and there.

Also known arn since he was about 5 or so. At least I assume, since I've known him for almost 10 years and he is just now hitting puberty.

On a Vikes note, the next three Sundays I'm gonna be at Proto's place watching reruns of some of last year's Vikings games and participating in some of your other, standard Sunday Fun Day activities to warm up for the preseason kickoff in a few weeks. Gonna be a good time.

[arnsk]

Yeah there are a lot of DoD'ers from the Twin Cities. We actually had enough to make a LAN team but that was around the same time WoW came out, thus mista and I were the only ones to continue playing DoD (online obviously).

Go vikes!

[crawtona]

Yeah there are a lot of DoD'ers from the Twin Cities. We actually had enough to make a LAN team but that was around the same time WoW came out, thus mista and I were the only ones to continue playing DoD (online obviously).

Go vikes!

HEY! I never played WoW. Other stuff got in the way, but I came back every now and again.

[milo]

Can you 92 Dream Team nerds stop scrimming as a team pls pls pls pls

[muresan]

Can you 92 Dream Team nerds stop scrimming as a team pls pls pls pls

I didnt know one scrim as a team meant we scrimmed 24/7 lol